About Me

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I could describe myself, but I hear others are like a mirror into your soul. So, here is some feedback I’ve gotten about me from others:

β€œYou are the smartest dumb person I have ever met.” -Friend

β€œShe has the smile of an angel, but the eyes of the devil.” -The only entry found in my baby journal

β€œYou are the best writer in this class!” -Community College English Teacher

β€œSure, you think you’re terrible, but you think everyone else is much worse.”                     β€“Colleague

…want more?

Under the section β€œcelebrities with this type of Myers-Briggs personality type,” my profile only lists fictional villains.

No one has ever written me a love song, but while at a concert, I inspired an ex to belt out a song entitled: Elle Must Die– and it was awesome.

On my wedding day, on a beach in the Bahamas, someone yelled β€œDon’t do it!” from their hotel balcony as I walked down the isle- it was a perfect ceremony.

…you really want to know?

Army Vet. Jumped out of planes with an M4 strapped to my side & a rucksack swinging from my hips. Rode motorcycles across the pockmarked streets of Jersey. Lead men to war. Tried stand up once and bombed hard. I just want to make sure everyone is having a good time.

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A rolling stone who loathes the mundane and keeps the company of anyone who sees the world differently. Humor is the spice of life. An earthy drifter who married Ron Swanson’s doppelganger – a brilliant, stoic, kind man who doesn’t have a social media account…but she’d follow him anywhere.

Some other stuff: 

Thought Catalog

BuzzFeed Community